Desperately Seeking Truth

I am so freaking tired!!!!! Ha well it was a great way to start out the morning. I nearly got ran over by Sherita?s mom. I thought it was kind of funny. Well I went in and took my stuff back into the locker room. So then I went and looked for Dana, well I didn?t find her and by some chance I didn?t see the four or Tonya anywhere. So well I went to my locker to get my book, and then the bell rang. I got up at 6:30 this morning, and then reset my clock, and got up at 7:00 and took a shower, so I was later to school than I normally am. So as soon as I got my book, the bell rang. Then I went to class. I sat on the floor the entire time in there, I finished the worksheet from yesterday, and then I did a new worksheet and 15 Q&A?s and turned that in, then I laid down, and tried to sleep, in didn?t really work cause they were all talking. But it was cool. Then I started to go to Biology, and I stopped Jessica and got her answer book for algebra. But then Hunter stopped me and got it, and said he?d give it to me during the next passing period. Well I slept nearly the entire period. And he called on me to answer and I was asleep so I asked him what the question was, and I answered it. Then Coach Mac was like ?I know you?re tired, but you know your not the only one that got home late from Dublin last night.? I really wanted to knock the crap out of him right then. It really pissed me off. I didn?t ever say anything like that, and I wouldn?t use that for an excuse. I?m sorry that I have insomnia, and that I haven?t been able to sleep properly for the last several months. And no its not just staying up late, its because when I lay down to go to sleep, I generally lay there for a couple of hours. So instead of being bored out of my mind, I get up and do something, like I am now (typing this). Well since my hair was still really wet, and I was sleeping with my arms folded, the hot air that I was breathing was hitting my hair, so it fogged up the desk (a black lab desk), and made it moist. Then well I fell back asleep. I got the book back from Hunter. Then I went to Japanese and worked on my algebra most of the time while she was going over the worksheets (the parts I had done). Well once we were done with that, I started to work on the tiny part of the worksheets that I didn?t have done. Then I got tired of that and went to sleep a couple of minutes before the class was over. Then in Japanese 3, I then completed my algebra, and sort of acted like I was trying to do my worksheets but accidentally fell asleep. So I slept most of that period, well atleast half of it. Well then I went straight to lunch. And for the third day in a row, I ate chips and candy from the machines, cause they still don?t have the good sandwiches. So well instead of sitting with the freshman again, I grabbed Dana and I a regular round table. And we talked about Waylon again. Shanna didn?t join us today. Well then we went and threw our trash away. And started to leave and Toby was walking out in front of us. And he saw me when he turned, and gave me his little wink/cute smile (he does it all the time, he even did it to me during his game yesterday), and Dana just looked at me. And I was like ?yeah I know.? She pointed out how tall he was, and she said that she thinks its more fun when you kiss taller guys, cause you have to stand on your tippy toes. I told her that we flirt all the time, cause well we do. Then I had to go to English, and I had a desk, but I chose to sit on the floor instead. And once I had all my work done, I flipped over and tried to sleep. Then I went to algebra. And I amazingly stayed awake in there. Then after that class I went to keyboarding. Well we had to do our typing drills for time, so we had to concentrate, so we didn?t talk a whole lot. But once I was done I laid down on the floor, cause we still had like 20 minutes. But well Toby got done a little after me, and he got down on the floor and laid beside me, I was using my bag as a pillow, and then he laid is head right beside mine. And then he looked up at me and smiled, and of course we were flirting. When he laid down Erika just looked at us, and I just smiled at her. Toby was like ?Erika do you want to come down here?? She said no. I knew was she was thinking when he laid down. Well a little later it was time to go, so I got my stuff, and we left, and we walked to athletics, we were talking about Monroe, he wore a suit to school today. Well then we had practice, we had to run, but it wasn?t to horrible. Then we went into the other gym. I went out a little later to fill up a water bottle and Toby was sitting in the other gym, I waved and smiled at him. Then I went back into practice. When we were done, we lifted weights. Well on leg curls you have to lay down. Well when I was doing the first set, the thing slipped of my foot, and it pissed me off. Then I got off, and on my second set, I was getting back on there and I kicked the metal bar. It hurt like hell. I laid there in pain for a little bit. I nailed my shin, I have a big knot on it right now. Well after that I went and got dressed, and went to the StuCo meeting. I am now apparently a part of the decoration committee for the dance, which is cool cause I had some good insights. Like the original candy hearts to put on the tables. And then we were thinking about dropping balloons from the ceiling. I was thinking about getting two tarps (the kind you use when you paint), and have them aligned beside each other in the middle, and attach strings to them, so when you pull the strings, the tarps will come out side ways, rather than having one side of something come down and hit people. So well I think thats what we might end up doing. And we are going shopping next Thursday most likely, and if I have to miss some practice because of it, then so be it. C.M. is being a bitch and won?t let Rachel and I have a day off before be go into softball. So well yeah. Then after that I called mom cause she was really late, she was on her way out. When she got me, we went and stopped at Level?s and got some stuff. I was pissed I expected to be in paper since I scored six points, but they didn?t put me in there. But I was ok, cause I finally got my cds in. I love em. Well I ate, and watched a little tv, and now I?m using the computer copying cds for Brian. And now I am going to bed so see ya later.
------------Erin

Modified Jan 31, 2002 1:00 AM EST

Today was so incredibly boring. Well mainly cause I was really tired (but I only slept in biology, partly just to piss him off), and I didn?t talk very much to anyone, even Dana. Heck in practice I just stared out in to space half of the time, mainly just when we went in to the white gym. And really nothing interesting happened today. Besides that mom was able to get me an appointment for the doctor. Its tomorrow morning at 10:45. I have a Japanese test then but I?m sure Mrs. Jones will let me take it on Monday. Since well it was a notice of less than a day. Yeah I have insomnia so I?m going to go see about some sleeping pills, and possibly see if I can also get some Zoloft of my own (a anti-depressant that I had to take last year, but not by my will, but this time it is). So well thats all I know, and I know that nothing interesting happened (flirting) cause I probably would remember it. But well I need some sleep some I?m going to go, maybe I?ll be more awake tomorrow. So well see ya later.
-----------Erin

Modified Jan 31, 2002 7:31 PM EST

Ahh... the exhausting Tuesday. So well I already brought most of my athletic stuff the day before so I didn?t have to take a whole lot to the locker room. I just took my white jersey, socks, and my brush in there. Then I went in and started to go to my locker. But I remembered that in world geography we were working on those group papers, and I already had mine done, all I had to do was type it. So I went and looked for Dana, well I didn?t find her so I went to the commons and stood there for and stood and talked to Rachel, Casey, Sarah, and Julie, then Dana came, so I went with her, and we went to the library and Tonya walked in with us too. So well the four were at the normal table this time, and we sat at the front table. Well we only sat there for a little bit, but I was talking to Dana on our way out, and then she got caught up again so well we were pretty much done anyways. So Well then it was time to go to class. So when we are in world geograpy, I swear we were about to kill Mr. Railsback, he told us yesterday that we could go and type in today. And he almost didn?t let us for some dumb reason. Well Rachel had two topics to do, and I had one, and Tara also had two, and Olivia had to do the cover pages (like six of those I think). Well Tara started to bitch at us cause we were talking, and she told us that we better get done. I swear, when we were done she printed out her stuff and gave it to us and left, and she told us to make sure and turn it in. And both Rachel?s papers and mine were a page long like he told us to do. Hers was like maybe a third. Then the bell rang and we were putting the papers in order, then we left to go get our stuff, and she walked past us, and asked if we got done, and then she asked if we were going to turn it in. Both Rachel and I were like ?well where the hell do you think we?re going.? She pisses us off a lot. Then we went to biology, I?m pretty sure that I slept most of the class. I know that in Japanese 2 I worked on worksheets most of the time, then went to sleep at the end of that period. Then in Japanese 3 I was pretty much asleep the whole time except when I had to read out a sentence. Then I went to lunch and once again we got stuck sitting with the freshman, cause for the band thing and college night they took our table and haven?t put it back yet. So well Shanna ate with us again, and we had a pretty good conversation. Then I went to English, and once I had my stuff done I just sat there, the days before I was on the floor so I went to sleep after I was done. And then I went across the hall to talk to Rachel, cause she went over there to talk to her mom. Well in algebra we got our homework back (the first ones we had to turn into him), and I got a freaking 15 on it, cause I didn?t have very much work on it at all, but hey its ok. Then I went to keyboarding, and we didn?t really talk a whole lot in there, I was really tired. Really both of us were tired, so he didn?t really say much. But he still watched me, even after we were done typing. But then we were talking on the way to athletics. We had to work out, but I took my backpack to the front by the doors. And went to find C.H. cause we at that time we didn?t know when we were leaving or if we had to work out. So yeah on my way up to the front, Toby was still walking through the gym (I walked through the girls hallway). But then I went and found coach, she was in her room. Well I worked out, I didn?t feel like putting up my hair so, I just pulled it together and put a ponytail holder in it, and I wore my glasses at the same time, I looked like a major dork. Well when we finally got to leave, we had the back of the bus, but we had to put up with all the jv guys, and they are all pains in the ass. But well I didn?t really get much accomplished (sleep), but I let Kathern, Sherita, and Savanna listen to my thrash cd, they said I made a really good cd, and of course I don?t think many people would disagree with them. When we got there we had to play in the small gym. I hate that gym, it makes me cluster-phobic (sp? its the closest I could get to). But well the last time we played them we beat them by 58, this time by 4 (yes 4, really sad). Yeah they did have two to players that they didn?t last time, but come on, we sucked ass. It was horrible. Well yeah thats pretty much it. I played like less than a minute, but it was all good. Rachel scored her first goal, she went up for a lay-up, and got fouled on the way up, she didn?t make that, but she made a free-throw. Well then I went and got dressed and put my stuff down, and talked to John for a little while. Then went and watch the freshman boys game, I got back in there a halfway through the 1st quarter. Then at halftime I got Josh?s cd player, and listened to it practically the rest of the night. I went and got a drink, and you can?t take food or drinks in the gym. So I had to stay out in the cafeteria. Then when I went back in to the gym, it was halfway through the 3rd quarter. I was there when Toby scored his points, so it was all good. Then after the game I went back into the other gym, I went into the cafeteria and sat with John and JP?s aunt. Well a little later Amanda came in and got some food, and sat by me. Well John and JP?s aunt went in to watch the game, but we stayed there. And Rachel (and Dillan), Sarah, Matthew, and some of the other guys game in and sat with us. Well Rachel was playing with Dillan (her nephew), he is so cute. Well finally when Amanda was ready we went back into the gym. And sat down, well then Toby came out and sat by us. Well both Amanda and I wanted him to sit by us (she doesn?t know about all the flirting, some of it maybe), so she moved over and he sat in between us. Then he and Phillip wanted to go get some food, so I went with them. And even though they knew no food was allowed in there they took it in anyways. Well then Phillip sat above us, so Amanda got up and say by him, so he wouldn?t be by himself. Well it was pretty funny, a lady came in and told them they couldn?t eat in there, so they had to leave, I just sat there. Then they came back, and Toby sat with me. He had to step on the chair below to get to our row, and when he sat down he was like ?I was thinking of falling on you, but I decided not to.? Then he asked me what I would have done if he did do that. I was like ?I don?t know, you could have done it if you wanted to.? Then he got up and acted like he was going to do it. But I was like ?if you did just do that you would have looked dumb.? Cause he already sat down so everyone would have known he did it on purpose. Then a little later Amanda had to leave and so did David (Crawford, he was sitting on the other side of me). And Phillip got up and went somewhere. So it was just me and Toby then, and we had both finally taken off our music, and put it up. Then he sat back, and put his elbow on top of the arm rest, so I lifted up mine and put it on top of his. And he looked at me with this look, that was like ?finally.? Well during this time Greggar (sp?) sat down in front of us, and kind of pointed at his hand. He got some Dublin girl?s number. And then Toby was like ?yeah I wish I had one of those,? he was looking at me when he said it so he was definately directing it towards me, and pointing at his hand at the same time. I just kind of looked at him and smiled, I kind of pretended that I didn?t get it, cause well I didn?t catch on at first cause well I never do, well I ended up not giving him my number. Then a little later, he started to turn to where his back was to me, and started to lean back on me, well he tried, the arm rest was in the way, and I know it didn?t feel good, but I really wish it wasn?t in the way. Well after he finally got out there after his game, he took a shower, I was playing with his hair and making it stand up, cause it was wet. I swear this is the most I have ever flirted, I mean ever. I really like him. Erika told me earlier today that I should ask him to the Valentine dance. Which is next weekend. And I?m starting to think its a good idea, although if I do I?ll be getting really nervous about it. Well then Coach Thompson came in, and we girls had to leave I was sad. Especially since Toby didn?t have his phone. Then on the bus I sat with Sarah and we were talking until we got to C.C.?s. Then it was me, Sarah, Julie (and Tara sat with us) sat together at a table. Well once we were done eating. Bree and Savanna started putting a bunch of junk in Sherita?s drink while she was up. Well right before that Tara had gotten up, so Julie put salt and pepper in her drink and stirred it up. Well Tara drank it for like the next 5 minutes or so, it was so freaking hilarious. Especially because she kept holding her drink right by her mouth while she was talking. And eventually she looked in it and saw the pepper. I got up and walked towards the game room, I couldn?t help it, it was really funny. Then me, Sarah, and Julie went to the game room, and they were playing a game. Well I went to the bathroom, and they tell Tara it was me, ya know playing around. Well while I was peeing (!!!) Tara comes in and yells my name, and she kicks the door, and it came open, not all the way but a little, I started yelling at her, and told her to get out and that I didn?t do it. You don?t bother someone while they are peeing. But well when I came out, I told Sarah and Julie, and thanked them sarcastically. Well a little before Tara noticed her drink the boys came in, I didn?t really say anything to Toby. But soon after Tara interrupted me in the bathroom, we had to leave. Then Sarah and I sat in the back and talked with the varsity the whole way back, and Tara followed us back there, she wouldn?t leave us alone, it was really annoying. We got back about 11:00 or so. But well me on the other hand, like always I?m going to bed about 12:30. And with that I better go, good night.
--------------Erin

Modified Jan 30, 2002 12:26 AM EST

You know I really hate Mondays, they are always boring, and really tend to suck. Well I started out my morning by taking my athletic stuff to the locker room. Cause well I actually washed all of it. Then I went to my locker like always, and got my book then I went and sat down in the corner with the four and Tonya. Well then Mrs. Ogletree came over and told us that we couldn?t sit in the hallway. So we all got up and started to go to the library. Well I was walking with Tonya in there, and we went to the table that we normally sit at, the last rectangular table thats closest to the window. So well Tonya grabbed a chair so that everyone could sit at the same table, and she was going to sit on the side. Well then the four sit at the very first table that you come to in the library. I couldn?t help but laugh and neither could Tonya. It was pretty funny. Then Dana comes in and sits with us, and I told her what had just happened. She thought it was pretty stupid too. Then the bell rang, I tried to wait for her but I would have had to wait on like 6 other people, so I went ahead and went to class. Then in world geography we had to write a paper, each person in the group had a different group, it was really boring, Rachel and I were talking about softball most of the time, and Tara kept blabbering on and on. She told us about what happened for her mom?s (Coach Thompson) birthday party. Then we went to biology and I kept falling asleep, of course all he really said was something that I must have bad sleeping habits. Then I went to Japanese and I worked on some worksheets for a little while, then I just put on some music and went to sleep, and I pretty much did that in both classes, it make Jason mad its pretty funny. Then I went to lunch, I had some chips, reese?s pieces (the m&m type ones), and a drink, I didn?t have much money today. And Dana and I went through her on going events with Waylon. Then Shanna came and ate with us again today, she has the flu (first time in her life). Then we left before the bell rang for once. Mrs. Sexton was there yet, even after the bell rang, so I put my stuff up, and went and sat on a desk that was out in the hall, on my way to it Toby walked in front of me and I said hey and gave him a playful shove. Then eventually I went in after Rachel went in there, which they got there before Mrs. Sexton for once, she was several minutes late. Then in algebra, he gave us a lecture. He finally did something about our grades. Cause pretty much everyone copies off someone else in the class. So we practically don?t learn anything. Yeah remember me telling you about our test. Well I made a 49 the highest grade on it was a 58. So that was a big clue to him. That test is the last one that we get to correct until he says otherwise. And on our homework, rather than us grading our papers ourselves, hes taking them up from now on and grading them himself. The ironic thing was that he took up our homework today, so thats just another clue that most of us copied. I think I was the only one that found it amusing. The way I see it, is that if you don?t take the time to do the work yourself, and learn it. Then when you do other things and you do bad on them, then you earned the consequences. What I got is what I deserved. Lol then we started our new lessons, and he gave us rulers to use for it, I had to hit myself in the head the rest of the period to stay awake. Then he let us do corrections, I only have two left. Then I went to keyboarding. I gave Toby his cd back. He was jamming to it, but this time he didn?t fall out of his chair, hes already done that twice. And he kept staring at me, but this time when he did it I kept typing and watched him out of the corner of my eye. Well while I was typing my work I said ?wow I am seeing a lot of u?s in this lesson.? Toby said ?well I?d rather be seeing a lot of you.? Erika and Miriam both busted out laughing, they thought it was really corny. Well it was but I thought it was cute, but hey thats just me. But well after class I went to athletics, lol we were doing this drill for like 13 minutes, and it was 4 on 2, and I swear to it I couldn?t count worth crap. The two people on defense and the two outlets would be the ones to go down on offense. Well after that drill was done with we started to do the 5 minute scrimmage thing. So well I picked up some balls to put in the ball basket thing, and so I moved the ball thing so it wouldn?t be in the way, well the wheel came off. It freaked me out. Then we went to the other gym, and I got really pissed off cause I couldn?t remember plays, or well I couldn?t run them properly atleast. I really sucked it up, but coach said I shot good. Once I was done I left, and Brittany Stephenson took me to the hospital. So I drove to the bank, then to get gas, and eventually we went to Subway. It took forever in there, like over 30 minutes, they couldn?t find the freaking chicken. Then I came home, ate, and watched Rose Red. Used computer. But well thats up until now, but I gotta go to bed. good night.
--------------------Erin

Modified Jan 29, 2002 1:12 AM EST

Ok well this entry if pretty much going to be a recap of everything since Thursday. On Thursday I did what I do nearly every morning now, I went to my locker and got my book. I got there at the same time as Dana. So we went into the library and we sat at the table in front of the four. Well Bekah asked Dana about something. They were all talking about sneezing and how supposedly if you sneeze its a fourth of an orgasm. So Dana was being stupid and asked ?So if you sneeze four time then is it an orgasm?? I just wanted to laugh so hard, cause it was so stupid. I know this for a fact, when you sneeze your heart skips a beat. And its not a fourth of an orgasm, its just some rumor a dumb moron made up. Anyways well then the bell rang so I went to class. Well in keyboarding I brought some music to listen to. Well when I listen to music I always leave one headphone off so I can hear when someone is talking to me. And in this case it would be Toby. He was singing to me. He was singing a part from ?Blurry? by Puddle of Mudd. This part ?You could me someone you could be my sea.? And he kept staring at me while I was typing. And every time he did that, I would stare away from him, cause I?m shy. Well after that class is of course athletics. It was really cool cause Rachel got released by the doctor earlier that day. So she can play. That day was her first practice back after her ACL surgery (October 31st). So I think we were all pretty excited about that. So it was a pretty fun practice. Well we got done like really early, about 4:45 or so. Well I didn?t feel like waiting at the school, so Sarah Khuen (sp?) dropped me off at the hospital. Well I went in to the lab, and little did I know mom took the day off. So I called her and she came and got me. While I was waiting for her Katy Fain came in. Well by the time she got there, and when we were heading home, it was already almost 6:00, so we decided to go to the school then. The softball meeting was that night. Well we got there, and I waited at the door with her till right before it started. She gave me the keys in case I wanted to go sit in the car. Well I didn?t, so I went into the cafeteria, the band was having their potato supper then. Well I went in there and sat by Amanda, and talked to her about softball, and she said she decided that shes not going to play, and I told her I completely understood, cause well I do. Well then Toby walks up behind me, and puts his hands on my cheeks, and tilts my head back to where I could see him, and he was like ?you took my seat.? He was just playing around (flirting), cause he had to get his instrument. And then Amanda had to go down there and get ready, so I offered to throw away her trash so she could go, and so thats what I did. Well I didn?t want to sit by myself, so I went back to the front of the school, where the couch is, and waited for my mom to get out of the meeting. And which finally she did. But during that time, I was talking to some of the other girls, and told them some of what was going on, cause I?m not going to hide it from them. Cause well if they didn?t know what was going on between me and the three that play softball then, they?d probably just think I was a bitch, which I am not. Well then they finally got done, and we left, and I drove home. I watched a little tv, and I used the computer then I went to bed.

Ahh... and one of the last days I will talk about, but definately not the least. This would be the wondrous Friday. Well that morning I went to take my basketball bag into the locker room, cause I still had it at home from the game on Tuesday. So I put it up, and on my way out I put on my glasses. Then like always I went and got my book, well I didn?t see Dana in the library or by the lockers, so I took my stuff to class, and found out one of our worksheets were due that day, so I went to the commons and got done with it right before the bell rang. So well I went to class. Well at lunch Shanna ate with us again. And we started to talk about the camp or whatever, at the meeting they said that we wern?t going to camp out cause the park was flooded, but they were having a cookout at Shanna?s house. Well Shanna asked me if I was going, and I told her I would but I had a game so it would probably be after that. We all actually had a normal conversation. Well in English we didn?t do a whole lot, and I of course don?t have a desk, so I was already on the ground, I went to sleep, and I also did that the day before, it was ok cause I already had my stuff done. Then in algebra we had a test which I?m pretty sure I did bad on, but oh well, theres always corrections. Then theres keyboarding, it was quite interesting in there that day. Well like the day before I was listening to music. But Toby had also brought some music (Nickelback). So well then he started singing to me again. And well he kept staring at me, then I got done. And I was sitting there watching him type, and he was like ?I would stare at you but I have to type.? When well I was like ?so what are you doing tonight?? He was like ?hopefully you.? And Erika was like ?Whoa, whoa.? Her and Miriam have heard everything that he has said to me, and they both do that. So when she did that, I was like ?its funny cause y?all hear everything that he says.? Because well it was funny, I just didn?t say much about it. And when he got done, he turned on the song ?how you remind me? on, and put his headphones on me, so I could listen to it. Well once it was done I gave it back to him, and I turned off my music and put it up, and I asked him if I could borrow it, and he said I could. I needed that song so I could finish one of my mixes. Well then I began spinning around in my chair. Then he started to spin, and he was like ?lets go out in the middle of the floor and do it.? I just laughed. Then when it was time to go, I was like ?you do know what you said earlier don?t you?? I knew he did it on purpose, he was like ?yeah, I was hoping you?d say something like, not in public.? Then we were walking to athletics, and I was flirting with him, I mean it was obvious cause I never flirt, seriously. And Julie was walking behind us, and she hit me or something. And I was playing around, and I kind of pushed her and I was like ?what? Do ya wanna fight? huh? huh?? And then I said bye to Toby, cause we had to walk down our hallways. It was really funny, Michelle was walking a little behind us when Julie and I were walking down the hallway. I was like ?man Julie I was flirting.? She was like ?Yeah I know, thats why I did that.? I just laughed, I couldn?t help it, I was happy.

Well then I went in to start getting dressed and Rachel mentioned something about getting a band-aid for her toe, and it reminded me to get one. So I started to go to the training room to get one, but I changed my mind, cause I figured we wouldn?t be doing much anyways. On my way out there Toby was walking through. So then I went back in and finished getting ready for practice. We did what we always do on game days. Then when we were done Coach Hancock was talking to the JV, and like always I kind of wasn?t paying much attention. After we were done there, I went and changed. And went to the commons to get a drink, Toby was standing there talking with Jesse (Brown), and Amber Griggers, and someone else. But then I just walked back into the gym, and sat on the score board thing. And watch Rachel and Julie shoot. Well then I got bored so I went and walked to my locker, something I always do when I having nothing better to do, and I just act like I?m looking for something, well on my way back Rachel was walking my way, she was looking for her mom. So I went with her to go look for her mom. When we came back to the commons, Julie was there, and so we just sat there while Rachel tried to call her mom. Then a while after that, Julie left with her aunt to go to Level?s. So Rachel and I found Coach Thompson, so we could get Rachel a jersey, we got to go into the boys locker room, and wow it really stinks in there. Well then we had to wait for Krystal cause she had the extra jersey. So I went and got dressed, put my mix cd in the player, and we all jammed to it for awhile. Well Coach Hancock came in and told us to stay in there. Then Erika walks in and tells me that Toby is looking for me. So I started to go out there to talk to him, and C.H. walked around the corner right after Sarah. I was like ?oh ok so your coming.? Some dumb lie, well when I opened the door to go back towards the locker room, Coach Waggoner pushed on it at the same time, I scared the crap out of her, it was funny. Then Sarah pretty much did the same thing to her a little later. Well after coach was done talking to us, we got to go out there and shoot around. The other team still hadn?t gone out there yet. And Toby came up and talked to me, he told me good luck again. When he was talking to me I was shooting and I kept making it, it was pretty cool. Well I scored SIX POINTS, it was awesome. My first shot was in the first half from right inside the 3 point line on the left side, and I bricked it. Well in the second half, I shot again from the same area but a little farther in, well I bricked it too, but I got the rebound and put it back up and made the block shot. Well then I got a steal and had a break away to the basket, and made a totally awesome LEFT HANDED LAY-UP. Then my other shot was right outside the elbow on the right side, and I made it. I was so happy with it. Thats the first time I have ever scored that much in a game, and I am especially happy cause I get to be in the paper this time, cause they generally don?t put the people who made 2-4 points (which I have done before). Oh and I can?t leave this part out. When we were going to the locker room during half-time, Sarah grabbed my water bottle for me, and I told her to toss it to me, big mistake. I caught it but it slipped out of my hands, and hit the floor, the lid popped off and water went all over the floor it was hilarious, but I was freaking out, cause I was afraid coach would get mad. Well finally they pointed to a towel, and I ran to get it, and I kind of jumped toward it and grabbed for it. But I missed so I jumped back again and then I got it. And I sprinted back to the spot and started to clean it up, but then Doc was nice enough to finish it up, so I could go into the locker room. Sarah and I couldn?t stop laughing. All I could say was ?well atleast we know part of the floor is clean now.? Well after the game, I went and sat by mom and talked to her, and she said that some people could come over. So we went home, and I took the car, and came back to the games. And went in to watch Toby play, I missed more than half of the game. When I came in through the Red gym, a girl from Lake Worth, ran into the wall and broke both her tibia and her fibula. I didn?t really find out what had happened till later. Well after Toby?s game, I went into the other gym, and which then it was half-time for the varsity girls game, and I stood there with Rachel while the tough kids (little dribblers group) went out on the floor and did there thing. Then I went and talked to Amanda about coming over and I gave her my cell phone, so she could call me if I didn?t call her. Then I went back to the other side and sat with Toby. I sat with him the rest of the night, till it was time to go. Then we (Rachel, Casey, and me) left and went and got her some clothes from her house, Rachel has her license, so they went in her car. Then we went to Level?s so they could get a drink. Then we went out to Shanna?s for the softball cookout. I ate 2 regular hot dogs, then I ate a chilli dog, I was so hungry. Well they (Michelle, Shanna, Bekah, and Miriam) were halfway through a movie when we got there, so we pretty much sat in the kitchen and talked with Shanna?s parents as well as Justin (Shanna?s younger brother). Then Michelle left once the movie was over. Then we decided to play pictionary, it was hilarious. Surprisingly I was on Shanna?s and Bekah?s team. Well it was about 12:30 when we left, so we were pretty tired. I was actually really really surprised, I had fun while I was there, and it went well. So then Rachel and Casey stayed the night with me, we talked till about 2:30 or so. Then they left Saturday morning about 10:30 or so. Julie was supposed to stay the rest of the weekend with me but she ended up staying with Kassi. I slept until like 3:30, I was forcing myself to sleep, I was really tired from the week. Then on Sunday I pretty much slept in the best that I could. Then Sunday night, Mrs. Popejoy convinced me to go to church with them. I had just got done cleaning my bathroom and I hadn?t yet taken a shower, so I was kind of nasty. But I went anyways, and I?m glad I did cause I really did enjoy it.

---------Erin

Modified Jan 27, 2002 6:51 PM EST

Ok well this entry if pretty much going to be a recap of everything from Sunday until Wednesday.

Well on Sunday I went over to Meghann?s to try on my bridesmaid dress, and saw if it would fit or not, which it did. It just looked really strange cause it was strapless and I was wearing a sports bra. Well I talked to her about most of the things going on, especially with the four. And she told me about all the doctors shes had to see the last week and a half. Well after I was done there, I went and saw Dana at Subway. She was about to get off work, so I got her to make my sandwich. Then she came and sat with me, I talked to her for over 30 minutes about everything that happened on Friday. I found out later that Shanna was supposed to go up there so they could study. But I really needed to talk to Dana then, I cause I knew I wouldn?t have time during lunch or any other time. Then I went to the hospital to talk to mom. And I got money from her, then I came home to get ready. I was going bowling with the Grace Community Church. Well once I was ready I still had like 15 minutes left. So I went into town and got a paper and a RC. Then I drove back down 56 and turned down the road where Amanda lives. And I drove the back-roads that end up going by the road by First Baptist Church. Then I drove to GCC and parked, and started to read the paper, then the Popejoys finally got there. Well anyways we went bowling in Granbury, and it was a lot of fun. I saw my friend Krista (sp?) H. there. It was like a church youth night there, it was pretty cool. I had a blast, then I came home and went to bed.

Well on Monday morning I went to my locker and got my book, and took my stuff and put it in the classroom. Well then I went to the library and Michelle was talking to Dana. She didn?t say anything to me. Then later I talked to Dana about her night, then the bell rang and I went to class. Well then at lunch Dana told me what Michelle said. Dana said she asked her about her weekend. And she said, ?Oh so you heard about it. Yeah we saw her and we walked straight past her.? And then later she told Dana that she?d believe Bekah over me any day. I thought it was funny, yet idiotic, and hypocritical all at the same time. I mean come on, what about our past, we were best friends and practically sisters. Yet she says that how her, Bekah and Shanna are, and she says it as if we were never anything.

I got done in keyboarding, and then I went and tried to talk to Coach Molk. Well then the announcements came on, and they said for all girls interested in playing softball to go to the office. Well then Coach Molk asked me if I?d go down there and tell them to go to the gym. And I got pissed cause I didn?t get to finish and it was really important. But she had replied to my email (I emailed her on Friday night to tell her before hand that I needed to talk to her) and said that if she didn?t get to finish then, that she would be there in the morning at 7:30. Also I got pissed cause I don?t think that she cares or believes me cause to her Michelle is perfect (her favorite at least). At the softball meeting they all still ignored me. Then we were done so we went to basketball practice.

Well on Tuesday morning, I went to the locker room to put up my pillow for the game. And then I went to go talk to Coach Molk (C.M.). Bekah was talking to her so I walked into the gym and waited a little. I know C.M. saw me when I walked by, and possibly that Bekah had too. Then I figured that they wouldn?t be done for awhile so I walked out though the gym to the commons area. And I didn?t think much about it. Then like I?ve normally been doing I went to my locker and got my book, and I walked around and looked for Dana, I eventually realized she wasn?t there yet. So I went to the commons to and talked with Rachel. Then Dana finally got there, so I walked with her for a little bit, then the bell rang, and then I went to class. Lol like I always say, then lunch came around, but that day was different cause Shanna came and sat with us, shes been going to the library almost everyday for about two months or so. Anyways. Well when Shanna went to throw her trash away, Dana told me what Bekah said about me that morning (Shanna told her I think). Bekah said CM. told her to go get me cause she needed to talk to me. Bekah said I was in the locker room and that she came in to get me, and said that they were done. She said that I said ?Well you?ve already wasted all of my time Miss Prissy!!? Now personally I think that its really pathetic that she has to make up all of these lies. And I also think that its hilarious, it really is, especially this one. Like I said earlier I went into the locker room once, then went into the gym, and left through the gym. I didn?t even go back through the locker room hall way. Lol, the rest of the day I kept thinking of what Dana told me, and I would just crack up in the middle of class. In algebra Mr. Brandenburg was explaining something on the board, and I never really listen to him, I?m always off in my own little world. Well thats what I was doing. And I started to laugh, and then I withheld it, but I was still smiling, and he kept looking at me, and then I?d look down, cause it was a little embarrassing. He thought there was something on him. I couldn?t help it, I kept doing that the whole period.

Well in keyboarding once me, Erika, and Toby were done we all had our cell phones since it was a game day. We were playing some games on them, and exchanging numbers. And he sent Erika a message, she was trying to send him when we got on the bus. The JV girls ride with the JV boys, and the freshman boys, and then the others leave later on the other bus. Well I sat with Erika on the bus. I slept a little of the way there. But when I was awake I was trying to send Toby a message. And when we got there I was trying to send him one that said for him to play good. Well I, being the dumb one, I left my basketball shoes and my knee-pads at the school. So I had to wear my tennis shoes, well I went out in the hallway before our warm-up to clean the bottom of my shoes. Well I was running back into the gym, and Toby was walking by me and he told me good luck, and stuck out his hand or me to hit, I was like ?sorry my hands are wet,? cause well they were. Well then after all of the games were done, and I finally got to talk to him, I told him I tried to send him a message but it wouldn?t work. Then he asked me for my number, and I gave it to him. The boys ride on one bus on the way home, and just the girls on the other. So well he walked me out to the bus, he was like ?so when are we going to talk?? I told him ?probably after Chicken Express.? He was like ?well I?m going to turn mine on right now incase you want to call me before.? I said ok. Well then I got on the bus and I was talking to Julie then Rachel and Sarah once they got on. I didn?t turn on my phone till we were leaving Chicken Express. Well our driver started going the wrong way, the opposite way down a one way street, so he didn?t a circle in the middle of the road, and went back into Chicken Express. Well once we were leaving the right way the boys finally got there. So I tried to send him a message, and it didn?t work but I kept trying for a little while. My battery was getting low, so I turned it off till I was done eating. Then I turned it back on and tried again, but it still didn?t work. Then I tried to call and I got his voicemail. Then I had to turn my phone off for awhile, and I played a game with Rachel, Julie, and both Sarah?s. Then I kept trying to get a hold of Toby but I never did. Well during the time I had my phone off, I asked Erika if Toby and Christen Cagle were still going out, she said they weren?t. She told me that supposedly Whitney Holloway wrote him a letter, to tell him to break up with Christen and go out with her secretly. But then he just broke up with her anyways. I don?t know if the letter thing is true or not, but they broke up. Cause he had been flirting with me a lot during keyboarding, and it would have been bad if they were still going out.

On Wednesday I didn?t get to school till right before A lunch. I didn?t feel very good that morning at all, but I had to be there for basketball practice or else I would have to run. Dana was late to school. So well I was actually a little late to lunch, so Dana didn?t see me and went and ate with Tara, and then she went to the library with Shanna. So I ate with Shevin. Well once I was done I went and threw my stuff away. I looked around and Rachel and Sarah weren?t there. So I went and sat my Toby and started to talk to him. So I started to talk to him about the night before, and I told him I couldn?t ever get the message thing to work, and that I tried to call him too. He said that he tried sending me a message, and it said that it sent. Then he said that he tried to call me, but got my voicemail, and he was going to leave a message but was afraid that my mom would get it. I was really disappointed that I didn?t get to talk to him on the way home. I told him that I had to turn my phone off cause the battery was going dead. Well then we were walking down the hall together, and Kellen Boulter (sp?) comes up and tells Toby that Whitney needs to talk to him. She was there when I sat down and started to talk to him. I think she got mad when I did that. But well once I got in English I found out that Sarah was on an apparel trip. And Rachel just got back from a doctors appointment. And she had Burger King with her, we were sitting there eating in the middle of class, it was fun. Well after practice that day, mom came and got me, then she drove back to the hospital, and she let me have the car, cause I had to go to college night at the school. So I went to Subway got something to eat, came home, and ate really quick, then went to college night. When I was turning in between Level?s and Bill?s the car like slid back and forth, it scared the crap out of me, it slid cause of all the stupid gravel. Well when I got there, I parked in front of Zach. I parked like seven feet in front of him, I parallel parked, but yeah I didn?t feel like backing up any farther I just wanted to go inside. But by leaving the car where it was, I was parked in a red zone. Well I just went around and got a lot of the pamphlets and stuff. The only guy that talked to me was from Midwestern State. Well I saw Toby and said hey to him, then I didn?t see him the rest of the time I was there. Well I was ready to leave so I left, and When I was at the stop sign in between Level?s and Bill?s, I had to stop cause there was a car coming, well Kacie Shadowens (sp?) was behind me, well when I started to go, the wheels spun for a sec. It made me mad.



-----------Erin

Modified Jan 26, 2002 9:55 PM EST

Well a lot has been going on lately. Especially Friday. But well I?m going to start off from Wednesday (might have been Thursday morning). But well I was really tired that morning so when I came into school I got my book, and went and laid down in the corner. And then when Dana got there I turned on my side so I could talk to her. Well she was talking to me. And all the sudden Miranda was like ?Dana who are you talking to?? And Dana just kind of looked at me, then looked at her. And she was like ?oh I?m sorry Erin, I thought you were a pile of bags.? Well in her mind she was right, I mean nothing to her. Well I didn?t think about it much, I just considered it to be an accident.

That night I asked mom if she would take me to go to Ashley?s game in Stephenville, and she said ok. So I went and picked out some nice clothes to wear. Cause I had just gotten my glasses that afternoon and wanted to look nice. I chose my khaki pants and my long-sleeved blue shirt. So well I had already worn my khaki pants to Ashley?s game in Cleburne so I wanted to wear something different. So I chose my regular Tommy jeans and my new American Eagle shirt, and my letter jacket.

Well then Friday morning I got mom to drop me off in front of the gym, so I could take my clothes and put them in the locker room (cause I was planning on changing and leaving directly after practice). Well when I went in there and put my stuff up, I heard someone in the bathroom. Well when I was walking out, I saw Bekah come out of there. So I was being friendly, and said ?Hey Bekah.? And at the time I was nearly out the door, and putting on my glasses. So well I didn?t think a whole lot about that. I went to my locker and got my book for world geography. Well then I looked in the corner that we normally sit in by the lockers, and no one was there. But they were on the other side where Dustin normally sits. Well I didn?t see Dana so I went and took my stuff to my classroom. And then went to the commons area to talk with Rachel. And hopefully see Dana when she came in, but little did I know Dana had been there before me, and was sitting by the lockers but I just didn?t see her. So well like I said I didn?t think much about anything. But then lunch comes around. And Dana started to tell me about that morning. She told me that came up and started talking to Michelle, Miranda, and Shanna. And she said ?Yeah I just came from the locker room, and Erin was in there. I really can?t stand that girl. I said ?hey Erin whats up?? and then she goes ?Agh!! Whatever.? Now Dana told me that she wasn?t absolutely positive that was all that she had said. So I told her that if she saw her again to ask her what exactly she said that morning. Personally I thought that she was being childish, and I wasn?t at all surprised.

So far this semester in 7th period (Keyboarding) I have been the first one done. That day I got done extremely early, so I asked to leave early. And I went and talked to Coach Molk. So I told her all that had happened that morning, and what Dana said, and that she was 100% positive that was all that Bekah had said. I told her ?I really want to play softball, and I will play. But crap has already started, and I?m pretty sure that it is only going to get worse. But if it does I just wanted to let you know that there might be a chance that I will quit. Cause I don?t think that I will be able to handle the things that will probably happen.? She said ?Well I don?t want you to let three people get in your way of playing softball. I think you have a potential in playing. I saw you improve so much in just one year. I really think that you can go somewhere with softball.? I said ?yeah if normally if it was someone else then I would play no matter what, but with them its just different.? She said ?well just stay positive.? So I said ok, and then I had to go get ready for basketball practice. We got out of practice early (before 5:00), so I called mom and let her know. She was supposed to pick me up at 5:00 but she ended up getting me at like 5:20 or so because they were running behind at work so she had to stay and help. But well I was really nasty from practice, so I went home and took a really quick shower, got dressed and then left.

Well I figured I?d miss Ashley?s game, which I did. I got there towards the end of the 1st quarter. And the side I came in one didn?t have any room to sit, so I just stood there up until the beginning of the 4th quarter. Now my feet were hurting extremely from b-ball, I mean I had blisters on my feet and they had been bleeding, it really hurt. So well while I was standing there, I hear some guy go ?hey Glen Rose.? So I just kind of looked at him. Then he goes ?hey Glen Rose,? again. So I said yes. He asked ?how come all of y?all Glen Rose people are here tonight? Do y?all play Stephenville or something?? I said ?no we don?t, theres other Glen Rose people here?? He said ?yeah theres four people down there with Glen Rose letter jackets on.? And as soon as he said that I thought in my head ?you?ve got to be kidding me,? I was really surprised. I was like ?are you serious?? He said ?yeah.? I told him ?I don?t know why they are here but I came to watch one of my friends from Granbury play.? So well then I went back to standing there watching the game.

Then half way through the quarter, after Granbury scored, I went out into the hallway and went to the other side of the bleachers to sit down. I sat down by some crazy guy, I?m not sure what the disease is where they talk to themselves and yell and stuff similar to that, but at one point I thought he was normal, cause he was talking to people. But I chose not to pay much attention to him, cause I figured if I did then it would hurt his feelings. Well then the game was over, and who happens to be walking my way, Michelle, Miranda, Bekah, and Shanna (I now call them the four). I got up and tried to talk to them, I was like ?Wow that guy down there was right, there really are other Glen Rose people here.? I said all of that but I was in a way interrupted because they just gave me the most evil look and walked straight passed me. I swear it hurt really bad, like 100 knives going through your heart at once, I just wanted to cry, but then again it pissed me off, so I didn?t.

Well then I sat down, and Coach Jacobs finally came, and I waved at him to get his attention. He was pretty surprised to see me there too. He told me to follow him. I asked where we were going. He said ?back to the office.? I said ?well are those four (thats what I call them now) going?? He said ?yeah.? I was like ?Well I don?t think that I should go.? He said ?No, no come on.? So I went back there with him. I just stood there the whole time. The four were playing with Will (his son). And I just kind of tried to act that I thought all of it was funny. Yeah sure it was funny but, I couldn?t stand to be near them, especially after what they did to me in the other gym. Well then C.J. had to go watch the freshman game, so we all went. Well I was hanging back, cause I didn?t really want to be near them. But well we had to wait to get through the door, cause there were a bunch of people trying to get through. And then Mrs. Jacobs asked ?Where have you been the whole night?? I said ?on the other side of the bleachers, I didn?t come with them, I didn?t even know they were here.? She said ?did you drive?? I said ?no my mom dropped me off and went to wal-mart.? she said ?Oh ok.? So well then we finally got into the gym. And in this gym there is only one set of bleachers, so when you came in the door the Granbury side was first, then the Stephenville people were on the other side. So that were C.J. was taking us. Well then I hear some Granbury girl go ?what are they doing here!!? Personally, I thought it was really funny, I looked at her, and kind of laughed. I was still hanging back at that point. Well then I hear ?hey Erin.? So I looked up where the Granbury girls were sitting, and I just thought someone was talking to someone else. Then I heard it again, so I look and I see my friend Katie Reavis. I hadn?t seen her in like 3 years. So well I went up there, and on the way up I said to that girl that asked about us being here, I go ?yeah and just to make it clear I?m not with those other girls.? Then I went and stood above Katie, and was talking to her, then I just decided to sit down beside her. And we talked for awhile. But then her and some of the other girls decided to go to the other gym, and watch the boys for a little while. Well one of the girls that got up was sitting by Ashley, so I went and sat by her. And we talked for awhile, and then her and the other girls on the team had to leave to go eat. Well during this time I was talking with them C.J. and the four had gotten up and left the gym.

So well I stayed there and was watching the freshman game. Then C.J. cam back in and sat by me, he was like ?so are you sitting my all of your friends?? I kind of gave him a little laugh, and I was like ?Well I was sitting with my Granbury basketball friends but they had to go eat. Besides they are the only friends I have here.? He just kind of looked at me, and was like ?What do you mean by that?? I was like ?well I?m not really friends with those four anymore.? He said ?what happened?? I said ?Its a really long story, and hard to explain.? And just after I said that the four came back in and sat right in front of us. Shanna a little to the left of me, Michelle directly in front of me, then Miranda then Bekah. C.J. asked them where they went, and they said they had to go to the bathroom. Well I was watching the game and listening to them at the same time. Well they were saying how they wanted to come watch another one of his games. And he said ?Well we play in Cleburne on the 25th.? They said ?No, no we can?t go then. We have our softball camp then.? He asked ?What are you talking about?? They were like ?You don?t know about our camp?? He said ?no.? Then Michelle said ?Well we are having a camp slash hangout for the softball girls. Just to hang out and bond. You know so we don?t have any ATTITUDES like last year.? That really caught my attention, I swear to it she really did direct that towards me, even though I didn?t have an attitude last year, and well I still don?t but they just prefer to say that I do so that they can give themselves a reason to not like me. Anyways, there was only 20 secs. left of the 2nd quarter so C.J. was like ?lets go see how the varsity boys are doing.? Well they got up, and I once again was kind of hanging back. C.J. was like ?Erin are you coming?? I said ?yeah I guess so.? So well we went into the other gym, and I was still hesitating. Well the four sat down first, we used 3 rows. Miranda (on the left) and Bekah (on the right) were on the third row. Then Michelle sat in front of Miranda, and Shanna in front of Bekah. So well I wanted C.J. to go first, but he insisted that I go ahead. So well there was a backpack in front of Shanna, and well I didn?t want to sit directly in front of her so I moved the bag over and sat on the left side of her feet. Well so I was watching the game and Granbury (pretty sure it was them) began to delay time. And C.J. started to tell us about how the varsity Granbury girls did that the whole game the Friday before when they played Crowley. He said the final score was 14-8. So well I got up and sat by him, and started to tell him about how our girls did that earlier in the season. Well then it was half time, and he had to go check on the jv laundry. So I sat there for a little while, then I saw Katie and who ever was sitting by her got up and left, so I didn?t say anything, I just got up and went and sat by her. She was like ?How come your sitting by them, I thought they weren?t your friends?? I was like ?They?re not I was just sitting by the coach.? Well we were joking around and having fun, and half the time the four kept watching me, but I didn?t care I thought it was funny and pathetic. Cause after I had just sat down, Katie was like ?they?re staring at you.? I was like ?I know, they?re childish.? And then once the game started back up, we were still talking and sort of watching the game, the four still kept watching me every once in a while. Well one time Michelle, Bekah, and Shanna were actually watching the game (or something, they weren?t watching me), well Miranda was glaring at me, I me full out staring at me. I started to crack up when I saw her doing that.

Well after awhile it was time to go, I had to meet mom outside at 9:00. I told Katie that if she wanted to, she could get my email from Ashley. Then I walked out the side that the four were sitting on, and Shanna had her legs crossed and she was sitting behind the water thing, so there wasn?t very much room to pass through. I just slid right through, didn?t even look at them, I just made sure I didn?t hit Shanna?s leg. Well then I went and found Ashley, cause they had just gotten back, she was eating in the hallway. I told her that, that was most likely the last game that I could make, and that I just wanted to come see her. I told her that if I don?t end up playing softball and doing track that I would try to go see her a lot more. Then I told her that if she ever feels like going to a soccer game, that she could might be able to catch me there. She said ?oh so you like soccer.? I was like ?yeah I play with half of those girls. I play on the Granbury United select team with Maggie and them.? She was like ?oh I see, thats cool.? Then I told her that I told Katie that she could get my email from her. Then I told her I emailed her last time, when I got home from Cleburne. Then I said bye. And I left, and I drove all the way home, and I talked to mom about what had happened and everything else that was going on.


---------Erin

Modified Jan 21, 2002 12:23 AM EST

Well honestly I don't really have alot to say. Just that I have one more reason to add to the long list for not liking my mom's boy-friend. Do you remember me telling you about my new dog Graham? Well B hit him saturday night and killed him (yes with his truck, just hoping everyone caught that and not think it was abuse). He wasn't even 5 months old yet. I really miss him. He was so cute, he looked exactly like a teddy bear. Yeah I haven't been able to focus on a whole lot since then. I'm still really upset. But well I am going now, talk to ya later.
----------Erin

Modified Jan 16, 2002 10:13 PM EST

Well for the last 3 and a half days I've gone to Doc five times for my back. I had this huge knot in the middle of my back, its almost gone. But the all of my back was and still is pretty tight, and still hurts. I have no clue what I did. But my guess is that I strained it or something, and didn't rest to let it heal so it just got worse. I've been doing the shock therapy (what I call it). The first day I had 2 pads in the middle of my back, and 2 on my shoulder. But then 3 other times it was just 2 pads on my shoulder, with a heating pad on top of it all. Then my last time to go yesterday, I used the heating pad for 30 minutes, then he used the ultrasound on my shoulder. So thats a lot of fun, I might still go back on Monday, but I'm not for sure though.

And to other news. I have declared that things with Michelle and I are officially over. I'm not giving up, because there is nothing there to give up. We're not even friends anymore, we're pretty much just mere aquaintances. And plus I just don't care anymore, cause shes treated me like crap, just like she has other people. I don't deserve that I haven't done anything wrong. I had seen what happened between her and Amanda (and her and Paige). I never possibly thought that she would do the same to me, but it did. And by the way she says that her, Bekah and Shanna are best friends and practically sisters. Well FYI Michelle that was us once. But shes obviously have been brain-washed not to believe that. It just drives me insane how in a split second change best friends. And no matter what excuses she gives me, it won't ever change the fact of how much she hurt me by doing that. And she can't say I hurt her, because any way I might have acted was because of what she was doing (changing best friends just like that). Anyways, she can live her life the way she wants, cause I don't care. And if she threatens to to beat me up like she did Amanda and Paige, I will take her up on her offer. Except she won't be the one beating. In my family we have huge tempers and once you set them off there is no stopping us. And I'm not joking, no one is going to threaten me and expect to get away with it. I'm not afraid to fight. I might be short, but I don't take crap from anyone. So in other words don't threaten me. Especially when I haven't done anything wrong. And the only reason I am playing softball this year is because I promised Coach Molk, and I promised Amanda and Julie too. Oh any by the way its very hypocritical to say that she wants me to do things with her and everyone else. Yet I'm standing right there when they're planning to do something, and they don't say one freaking word to me. They've done that do me like 3 or 4 times. And she says if I trust her then I can trust Bekah and Shanna. Then if she trusts me then they should too right? Well I also find it hypocritical for Bekah to go hey ya'll I need to talk ya'll, no not here (the table) lets go over here (in the corner). When I'm standing right there at the table. and thats sure as hell not the first time they've done that to me. It pisses me off when they do that to me, cause I can't stand hypocrites. Well anyways my main point is that things are over between us, and I don't care. And that would be my rant session for today.

Anyways I'm going to go now, c-ya later.
---------Erin

Modified Jan 12, 2002 1:27 PM EST

Ahhh... the joyous of times. I am really happy right now. I spent the entire evening with one of my best friends from Granbury, her name is Ashley Sprott. We've been friends since like 5th grade, which in this world and living in different towns to me is a rare thing. I drove to Cleburne (yes by myself, but my brother doesn't know that) to watch her play in her basketball game. I was surprised she was the only one I knew that was there. I saw a couple of girls from my old soccer team in Cleburne. I don't think they recognized me, oh well. I'm just so happy, I haven't seen Ashley in like a year and a half. We both haven't changed at all. It was so good getting to see her again. When she first saw me after her game, I kind of waved at her, and she just smiled. It really surprised her, she wasn't really for sure if it was me or not until I went up to her. I got her schedule of the Granbury school site, which I finally found after searching for a month. I'm really in a good mood right now. Yeah I'll do anything for my friends. And one of those things is driving illeagaly (sp?) to go see them. She was like what are you doing here? I told her I came to see you play. She said who are you with? Lol and my response was, myself. Yeah I don't have my license yet, but I've had my permit since last spring. But hey it was worth the risk to go. I tried to find someone to go with me, but no one wanted to, so I went anyways. And the drive alone was worth it, to me its really relaxing. But wow I'm just so happy to get to see her. And she will see more of me too. Except next time I'll give her a heads up about it, ya know see if we could work things out so that we could go do something. This is kind of off the subject, but I think that risking getting pulled over and not being able to get my license till several years later (not to mention all the crap I would get from my parents), proves my point that I am willing to do anything for the ones that I love. It may not seem like much, but I think it is. I know no life or death situation, but I would die for the ones I love.

Anyways, thats all I really have to say for now. I need to go to bed cause I have another game tomorrow, and hopefully striker won't bark so I can actuallu sleep. Well c-ya later.
---------Erin

Modified Jan 5, 2002 12:00 AM EST

I'm so confused and sad right now. I just don't know what to do anymore. But ya know I should be really happy and relaxed right now. Mom and B left this morning to go skiing in Ruidoso, New Mexico. And just this afternoon Brian decided he and some friends from Tarelton are going skiing and hes already left. So well now its just me and Kyle at home. And we have the blazer. So if I'd like I could go get drunk, because well I'm depressed. But I won't cause I know that its not for me, and I'm not that stupid.

I have a game tomorrow in Lake Worth, it should be alright, hey its a heck of alot better than practice. Today was our 2nd practice back, and Denena threw up after we got done running like 12 down and backs. It was really her first day back cause she was sick the first day.

No I'm not sad about practice. Meghann's really sick. They found out like 2 or 3 weeks ago that she has lupus. And last wednsday she had to go in for some test in Ft. Worth, and they took alot of blood, and she got really sick and has been since then. And last saturday we were going to go to the mall so I could use some of my gift cards. And before that we were going to do the important thing, order the bridesmaids dresses. But since she was sick (but felt ok at the time), her mom was all paranoid (which was totally annoying), and over protective, so we were at the mall for like 30 minutes, and most of that was to eat and to return a shirt her brothers gave Scott. I only had time to get some new socks. Which hey I said we'll do what you feel like you can do. So thats what we did. But shes still sick, and we were thinking if she felt better just us would go back to the mall, so I'm disappointed about that cause I would like to go before school. But I'm cool, I understand everything. She can't help that shes sick. I really hope she gets better, cause I don't like to see her suffer, and another sad thing is, is that Scott gets back from Taiwan in a couple of days, and the day he gets back Meghann has more tests to be done that day.

And the other thing I'm sad about is that I have seen Michelle in a week or a little more. And I still won't (maybe) get to see her till Monday. But oh that should be a fun experience. We're going to have a serious talk. I do want to have a serious talk, and I want to solve things between us. But the things is, is that I have a feeling that its not going to help anything, but make it worse. I don't know maybe I'm just scared cause I don't know whats going to happen between us. I will listen to everything she has to say, and I want her to do the same for me. But the thing is I want her to think for herself and not believe all the crap other people have probably made up about me and told her. But well thats all I have to say for now cause I won't know anything till Monday, well if her mom lets her get together with me.

And one other thing I hate the holidays in the first place so that makes me depressed. I know I'm crazy when I say I want to go back to school. But I miss everyone, my friends, and a.k.a. the "hot italian" and "Taylor the vender," lol.

Well I'm going to go now, after all I need what rest I can get for my game tomorrow. Lol don't need much of it to sit on the bench, lol j/k. C-ya later.
----------Erin

Modified Jan 2, 2002 11:59 PM EST