Sunday, December 02, 2001
Huh... Well yeah I wrote on this thing like November 20th, but the entire thing (really long) was lost, cause some dumb ass tried to call (my mom's bf). Which totally pissed me off, cause it was really important stuff, and which I can't remember exactly what I wrote, and I'm still pissed. So I guess I'm just going to write about the things bothering me now, or important I guess.
Well yeah the day after thanksgiving my neighbor's dog (an Akita we think), attacked our 2 little dogs (cinder and Kindle). Cinder was hurt really bad, and Kindle wasn't too bad. When we got them back that afternoon, Cinder had 3 drain tubes in here, plus more stiches. She needed tubes, because when a dog bites and pull away it pulls the muslce away, which forms pockets. And the tubes so the blood and other fluids could drain out. Which the 3 days later she got them out, but on thursday she had to get 2 of them put back in because it got infected, and I'm talking about she has huge holes in her. But I would say over all she has about 75-100 stiches. Now Kindle only had one bite. But still got stiches, only about 10 or so, but for 3 days she had a wrap around her waist and it looked like underwear which looked cute. They were both supposed to get their stiches out this tuesday (the 4th), but Kindle probably will, and Cinder may have some taken out but not all. But just from that 1st visit, the bill was $383 which my neighbor had to pay. But there is a chance that Cinder's skin could slab off (fall of in big pieces), and if that happens we have to take her back and they will treat her for something completely different. And which our neighbor will have to pay for that too. Anyways, with all that excitement, the day before (thanksgiving), I got a new dog (puppy). My other dogs found it apparently. My mom called all of our neighbors to see if it was their's. But one of them said someone had shot a dog, and left it in their driveway. Another neighbor said that they had seen a puppy wandering around. Which now its mine. We think its a golden retreiver. And since I'm the one that plays with it mainly I named it. I found it getting old calling the dog, for 2 days, by just saying "come here" or making those kissing noises. So I named him Graham, I looked it up in the dictionary and it said something like "wheat-something flour" and wheat is that brownish color so thats where it came from. Plus I just like the name Graham.
Anyways and new the other important stuff. I think things between Michelle and I are pretty much ending, one thing at a time. We never talk anymore. I swear she is always with Bekah, Shanna, or Tonya, or all three. And when I'm going to ask her if she wanted to come over or go do something, she has already planned something with either of them. I don't know when they planned these things. But all I know is that it never even gives me the chance to ask. TELL ME THIS, HOW CAN YOU DO SOMETHING WITH ONE PERSON WHEN THEY'VE ALREADY PLANNED SOMETHING WITH ANOTHER? First of all its rude to ask someone if they want to stay the night when they already have plans. Cause basically I feel likes its telling the other person that I don't like them (so they may think), or that I don't think that the other person is important enough, or that I think that she should be spending all of her time with me-not them. I don't want people to think that. If I want Michelle to stay the night with me, and she had planned to do something with someone else already, they generally feel obligated to invite me, which then makes me feel like a 3rd wheel or a tag along. Or hell just a plain out loser. Honestly Michelle and Dana are the only ones that completely know me. And I don't want Michelle asking either of the other three for advice about the problems that WE have. Cause they DO NOT know me well enough, to have good advice. If it were Dana giving the advice then it would be ok. But another thing about that she talks to other people about me, about things that I don't even know she feels. She won't tell me things, that I NEED to know. I tell her exactly how I feel about everything, so she can't say I don't tell her the "straight out truth." Cause I do, I know I do, cause why do you think more than half of my letters are either 2/3/4/ or 5 page letters. I tell her everything that I think or feel. I need her to tell me the "straight out truth." I don't know she just spends all of her time with other people now. It doesn't make me mad, but it does make me sad. Cause I don't want to be the outsider. And it finally hit me the other day, that they have been spending alot more time together than I thought. I swear they have like 25 different inside jokes. That I have no clue about. And inside joke is something between that person and another person. So if I knew what the inside jokes were, I wouldn't be able to get "involved in them," sure they may make sense but they would mean nearly as much to me as it does to them. I hope that makes some sense to you. Anyways. And well yeah we are both trying are best to make us work (i know I am but I think Michelle did, but gave up awhile ago). But what happens when both strive so hard but nothing comes from it? What does it mean? Does it mean to give up or keep trying till something happens? I have no clue. But I do know that I cry forever every night, cause I just feel pain. And its not the pain you feel when you're depressed. Cause I'm not depressed anymore. Maybe thats another thing, I am happy now, but Michelle has been able to see that. Shes always too busy. Its hard to show someone that your happy when you can't get the chance. Sure yeah I could say that and it be the truth, but it could be a lie. You know like they say, "Actions speak louder than words." C.S. I asked her and she said yes, that best friends do, do everything together. Well we don't anymore. I don't think that is so much of the problem. I think that a person has one best friend, but then has several close friends, and then has regular friends, and then aquaintances (sp?). I like say me with Michelle (if it is still that), then Dana and Meghann as close friends, then say Rachel as a friend, then people like Brittany Stroud as an aquaintance. I guess thats part of it, that we believe diffrently on that one. Gee, I wonder what she does think about that one? C.S. I don't know. I'll keep trying I guess. But who knows what the future holds.
Well thats all I can really think of for now, I guess. But now that I've been sitting here for so long I can't move my legs, lol, so I better. C-ya later.
----------Erin
Modified Dec 2, 2001 12:13 AM EST
Well yeah the day after thanksgiving my neighbor's dog (an Akita we think), attacked our 2 little dogs (cinder and Kindle). Cinder was hurt really bad, and Kindle wasn't too bad. When we got them back that afternoon, Cinder had 3 drain tubes in here, plus more stiches. She needed tubes, because when a dog bites and pull away it pulls the muslce away, which forms pockets. And the tubes so the blood and other fluids could drain out. Which the 3 days later she got them out, but on thursday she had to get 2 of them put back in because it got infected, and I'm talking about she has huge holes in her. But I would say over all she has about 75-100 stiches. Now Kindle only had one bite. But still got stiches, only about 10 or so, but for 3 days she had a wrap around her waist and it looked like underwear which looked cute. They were both supposed to get their stiches out this tuesday (the 4th), but Kindle probably will, and Cinder may have some taken out but not all. But just from that 1st visit, the bill was $383 which my neighbor had to pay. But there is a chance that Cinder's skin could slab off (fall of in big pieces), and if that happens we have to take her back and they will treat her for something completely different. And which our neighbor will have to pay for that too. Anyways, with all that excitement, the day before (thanksgiving), I got a new dog (puppy). My other dogs found it apparently. My mom called all of our neighbors to see if it was their's. But one of them said someone had shot a dog, and left it in their driveway. Another neighbor said that they had seen a puppy wandering around. Which now its mine. We think its a golden retreiver. And since I'm the one that plays with it mainly I named it. I found it getting old calling the dog, for 2 days, by just saying "come here" or making those kissing noises. So I named him Graham, I looked it up in the dictionary and it said something like "wheat-something flour" and wheat is that brownish color so thats where it came from. Plus I just like the name Graham.
Anyways and new the other important stuff. I think things between Michelle and I are pretty much ending, one thing at a time. We never talk anymore. I swear she is always with Bekah, Shanna, or Tonya, or all three. And when I'm going to ask her if she wanted to come over or go do something, she has already planned something with either of them. I don't know when they planned these things. But all I know is that it never even gives me the chance to ask. TELL ME THIS, HOW CAN YOU DO SOMETHING WITH ONE PERSON WHEN THEY'VE ALREADY PLANNED SOMETHING WITH ANOTHER? First of all its rude to ask someone if they want to stay the night when they already have plans. Cause basically I feel likes its telling the other person that I don't like them (so they may think), or that I don't think that the other person is important enough, or that I think that she should be spending all of her time with me-not them. I don't want people to think that. If I want Michelle to stay the night with me, and she had planned to do something with someone else already, they generally feel obligated to invite me, which then makes me feel like a 3rd wheel or a tag along. Or hell just a plain out loser. Honestly Michelle and Dana are the only ones that completely know me. And I don't want Michelle asking either of the other three for advice about the problems that WE have. Cause they DO NOT know me well enough, to have good advice. If it were Dana giving the advice then it would be ok. But another thing about that she talks to other people about me, about things that I don't even know she feels. She won't tell me things, that I NEED to know. I tell her exactly how I feel about everything, so she can't say I don't tell her the "straight out truth." Cause I do, I know I do, cause why do you think more than half of my letters are either 2/3/4/ or 5 page letters. I tell her everything that I think or feel. I need her to tell me the "straight out truth." I don't know she just spends all of her time with other people now. It doesn't make me mad, but it does make me sad. Cause I don't want to be the outsider. And it finally hit me the other day, that they have been spending alot more time together than I thought. I swear they have like 25 different inside jokes. That I have no clue about. And inside joke is something between that person and another person. So if I knew what the inside jokes were, I wouldn't be able to get "involved in them," sure they may make sense but they would mean nearly as much to me as it does to them. I hope that makes some sense to you. Anyways. And well yeah we are both trying are best to make us work (i know I am but I think Michelle did, but gave up awhile ago). But what happens when both strive so hard but nothing comes from it? What does it mean? Does it mean to give up or keep trying till something happens? I have no clue. But I do know that I cry forever every night, cause I just feel pain. And its not the pain you feel when you're depressed. Cause I'm not depressed anymore. Maybe thats another thing, I am happy now, but Michelle has been able to see that. Shes always too busy. Its hard to show someone that your happy when you can't get the chance. Sure yeah I could say that and it be the truth, but it could be a lie. You know like they say, "Actions speak louder than words." C.S. I asked her and she said yes, that best friends do, do everything together. Well we don't anymore. I don't think that is so much of the problem. I think that a person has one best friend, but then has several close friends, and then has regular friends, and then aquaintances (sp?). I like say me with Michelle (if it is still that), then Dana and Meghann as close friends, then say Rachel as a friend, then people like Brittany Stroud as an aquaintance. I guess thats part of it, that we believe diffrently on that one. Gee, I wonder what she does think about that one? C.S. I don't know. I'll keep trying I guess. But who knows what the future holds.
Well thats all I can really think of for now, I guess. But now that I've been sitting here for so long I can't move my legs, lol, so I better. C-ya later.
----------Erin
Modified Dec 2, 2001 12:13 AM EST
