Desperately Seeking Truth

I think I am about ot go crazy!!!! AHHHH!!!! Geez I am getting so freaking busy, and I'm beginning to freak out about my trip to Japan, its just so far away, and it will be so much fun. I'm just having a hard time getting ready you know all the packing and crap like that, its a big pain in the ass!! I'm really afraid I'm going to forget to take something with me, that or my bag will be too heavy and I'll have to take some clothes out, more than likely something I will really want to wear. Our bags have to weigh 45 pounds cause its a none stop flight. Oh and geez what a long flight it will be from all the way over here in Texas, its a 14 or 15 hour flight I'm going to have some MAJOR jet lag. But I think that I will live. One of the main things I want to do while I am over there you know besides all the tours and the many trips will take, I want to get my tounge pierced, and my friend Dagan that is going (he's also 15), is going to get is re-done, and 2 other girls Katie and Brittany want to get their belly-buttons pierced. LOL I really think if we could find a place they will chicken out, those 2 are really girly, lol I'm hardly afraid of anything, I mean stuff like piercing and easy crap like that, I go out for everything, I usually have to try something at least once. I don't chicken out much I guess is my point. We are only going to be over there for 2 weeks but I'm going to miss 3 of my friends alot!! Michelle and Miranda (they're twins), and good ol' Dana, I spend so much time with them and its going to be weird with out them being around, but when I get back we're all going to get together and me tell them about everything, or show them, from pictures and my video, luckily my mom is letting me take my video camera. Anyways, I'm sorta getting freaked out about school too. I'm not so sure i'm going to pass algebra or not, I still have like 5 or 6 even lessons (15 problems each) to turn in, but for 2 lessons the teacher gave me the answers I've just got so caught up in everything I just haven't found the time to do it, and its very easy. This year I don't know what has happened to me, my grades have dropped alot, and I have lost tons of friends from my class. I'm maybe friends with possibly 10 people in my class right now, I'm friends with all the upper classmen mainly. But I've just changed so much, I wonder what happened to me, I used to be this really happy girl that did like everything right, I used to have a goal to get straight A's and strive my hardest to get to the honor society, whether in junior high or in high school, but I just don't seem so care anymore. About anything that is!!! I really don't care much of what happens to me either, I mean I don't want to fail a grade so I try at the last minute. Oh, and this year is the 1st year in my entire life that I have failed a class. Maybe its just cause its my freshman year, so hopefully I'll get everything togetther. Oh and speaking of that I got told that by one of my coaches today. See my v-ball coach was telling me if during the season next year if I miss as much school as I am now then I won't play alot, and I was like yeah of course I understand that, cause thats how its always been. And my softball coach was standing there too, and I was walking out the door to go warm up for v-ball, she called my name so I went back, and she was like Erin you better get your act together, geez it made me feel so horrible to hear that, it just made me realize how badly I have fallen apart this year, its so unbelievable. I guess it made me feel hurt, cause I know how much it is true, and I have no clue what to do about it, I think I will talk to her about it tomorrow, if I finish my end-of-the-year algebra test in time, we start after lunch and athletics is last period for me (8th per.), oh and I was meaning my softball coach, Coach Molk. But well I have lots more to rant about, but I simply don't have time to right now, so I'll try and write more tomorrow.
Sore Jamatta,
Erin

Modified May 16, 2001 11:29 PM EDT